when im gone before my time, please tell them my body gave up before my mind

I cant remember this morning for some reason, i know i was coherent, i just dont remember much. just getting up to go to the bathroom to empty fluids, and dozed back off to bed. i heard jade sort of getting ready for work, but it was all echo-ish. like if i was almost in a dream, like if she was getting ready in a huge empty room, and all her actions echoed. Kinda rad.

last night i was frustrated for some reason, my body didnt feel right. My chest feels like its just straining a lot, like its just stressed. Makes me dizzy and just like i cant get in a good deep breath. I wanted to go to sleep but i couldnt really get into it. i was too tired to do anything after a while, but i was too restless to go to bed. i guess it happens here and there.

its kinda a bummer, how so many people just wannt to keep to themselves, i pass by people and they dont look or acknowledge anyone else is in the room. No one has a personality anymore. everyone is just too focused on themselves. I get in crowded rooms, and everyone just looks straight ahead, trying to make it obvious that they dont care your there. Lookin just emotionless. Just like a drone. like they've been emptied. I guess im not soo different, and that bugs me. maybe they're just focused...maybe im to analytical

i went running, i feel woken up finally after it, but tired at the same time. Gonna stay in track to clean up the house a bit, at least thats what im hoping. we'll see.


i wanna start giving compliments more..i know when i get them, they make my day pretty rad..even if its something minor, small...almost considered un-important. I just wanna give it to the people who deserve them for real reasons.

i guess my uncle called today for the insurance money, im gonna have to say i cant because i barely have enough for this week to get to and from work and food..man, this month is gonna be a headache.

its so easy to be famous these days, you dont need talent, just lack of integrity.

annd all thsee girls on myspace, they say "im not pretty, i dont think i am, oh no way" and most of their pictures are ones they take of themselves...thats just says something to me. i understand if they're doing something in the photo, showing that their doing it and they enjoy it, but...its just them...posing, trying to act like it was some accidental photo taken. what do i know...



i wanna go play guitar tonight, it'd be nice if someone invited me to go do that. its still way awesome though to do regardless.

my body scent makes me wanna eat doritos, what the fucK?


i just wanna get out..

i just wanna feel the feeling of living face to face