The air is extremely Dry around here, i guess the fires up near LA are Contained, Im not sure. I havent turned on the news in a few days, Some reason im kinda ashamed to say that. I like knowing whats going on around me, i want to know, but for some reason i loose interest quickly, Most of the time i find myself just upset at whats being said, or just in strong disagreement, and i get frustrated, and lost for better words. By then i cant even really stand my own company.
I think it was my suggestion to go on some hike, some form of exercise,actually it doesnt matter whos idea it was...anyway, and i would love jades company, so jade wanted to take her wicked dog "violet" the ambassador or cooltown, on our little leg moving journey, it was rad....really hot, but not unbearable, walked to a flag tattered from, i dont know how many years, of wind. saw the mailbox up there with books filled with thoughts of the people who also jog,bike..visit that area. I was just aggravated on the majority of peoples opinions in that book, all just close minded irrational thoughts,...mainly relating to MCcain, so then that was no suprise.... either way, it was rad to get out in the open
Went To see Madagascar Escape 2 Africa with Jade last night, It was a good escape from the outside weather, being in a controlled temp. enviorment. My nose felt super dry, and had a irritating feeling of a snot being stuck up there, so i relieved my nose without looking like im trying to scratch my brain from a terrible itch, i guess i was successful, but my nose started to bleed....i didnt feel like getting up or telling jade, so i just kept sniffing a lot, hoping it wouldnt be a drastic nose bleed and start running down my nose, it didnt last long...and the movie went on.
Today i guess im going with jade to her school, some reason i have fun doing that, i mean sitting through class isnt the most thrilling event, nor is it dealing with something i agree with, but at least a new enviorment is something that boosts me up again, cause i can at least say that im doing somthing. Even if its doing nothing in a new place...or not.
I wanna start exercising more, but my energy is lost lately, i used to consider me being a active person, now i just find way too many excuses to keep me from doing it, maybe i just need this shlump..maybe my body is craving this period of slack-ness, maybe i really need this recharge, or is that just another excuse?
i need to read shitloads more, i feel like im getting more uneducated, i'll admit it..im not a very smart person, but i feel like im def not helping myself in that dept lately. i need to browse more books, but i have trouble finding boooks that interest me..i also need to get a little handy dandy dictionary thing, electronic one, cause i wanna be more literate, i wanna be confident with the words i choose to express myself or opinions.
ha, im kinda shocked...that movie "white girls" is playing in the background, i never was really attracted to the movie, but its making me laugh more than i figured.
Rent is gonna be tight this month, its kinda ...no, it IS stressing me out a lot, its my fualt really of course. I feel guilty.
i remember listening to this band, i cant remember the name but i know its one i've heard millinos of times before, down by t-street and my friend had in on in there car, it was really relaxing, music i would never give a chance if it wasnt something i had to listen to cause of someone elses musical preference. I kinda wish i had the option to listen to it, if i knew the name.
its not dashboard confession, but i know its a band that i think is equally lame, i just know i was into the feel of the songs. Maybe it was just the time and place.
By the way, im really over my job. Goin there just bums me out, walking in the door, i feel like a kid having to go to the dentist, or a cat trying to be put in a bath. I just dont feel like i fit in, i 've been there for a year..and i feel like the unfit puzzle peice, i normally dont care, and i try my best to just blow it off, but i just feel like a stain, the place bores me too, nothing is interesting, the people i work with dont really excite me, everything is mainly just fake that i do there. I Need to put in more applications.
Im kinda scared to rub my nose or scratch it, especially if i go to school with jade today, getting a nose bleed in a room of people i dont know and i feel already uncomfortable being around, that would be lame.
Tonight, i will exercise, and hopefully will still have energy, it'd be nice to go walk on the beach trail with jade.
im not really sure how i feel...something is malfunctioning, i dont know what it is.
i woke up feeling out of place.
im tired of being pessimistic, but if i acted any other way, it wouldnt feel natural to me right now, just let it come natural...im not always like this, i promise, i never was.
i need to jump in the shower, my pants smell
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