fix my head with a knife!!

i guess mmmlately. i've kinda been feeling a desire among many
it'd be nice to come by a person to motivate me, someone to kinda look up to or at least that would push me, and hopefully i would return the favor
just something or someone to drive eachother to be productive.
to show eachother things, not just have it be one way
to tell me new things, or show me new places or look at things a new way
just someones point of view on life, and their drive that keeps them motivated to stay in it. Someone to push me, so we can push eachother
everything is so blah blah..and i know im no spiffed up peice of gold when it comes to excitement but fuuuuck..i just wanna turn the page
or it'd be rad to have that friend that you two always get in crazy shit with, the kind that will call you up in the middle of the night or knock on your door or window, beggin you to come see what shit the found
those "dude!! you gotta come with me and see this!"
not because they feel thye need to impress, but cause its something they're fascinated with and they wanna share it. Not because they think i might like it, but because they do..and they wanna indulge me in it too. and they dont give a fuck if i like it or not..even if i did or if i didnt, i'd be happy in the end that i took that ride..that anything


anddd another thing iv'e been kinda noticing
mostly everyone i talk to ..not everyone, but enough for me to be "whoa"
..when it comes to their relationships...its kinda selfish on their part
they ONLY talk about things the other person does for their benefit or their happiness. its weird
like people always say "oh they just make me laugh, or they always listen to me, or their nice to me''
and hell yea that should be the case but i mean...fuck, your basiaclly sucking all of this up
im probaly stupid about this..im kinda tired
but i just remember almost any girl i liked or i admired or wanted to get to know and go out with, when people asked me what was up with it i always was just talking about how admirable or awesome she was just in herself..not because, oh they do this for me or this or that and zip.
so why are they so special?
"cause she listens to me, and makes me laugh, and cares about me and is nice to me"

oh, well tahts good, but why are they so special? not why they're so special to you cause they make YOU feel special. why Are THEY..?

why are they?

im just being a dick in the butt today..but running in the rain was rad

:)