ha, so its a few days or a week or -ish past the new year..so far its been rollin along the lines of smooth pretty swell, kinda did some social cleansing, not necessarily stopped talking to "friends" but just removed the reminder of the ones i never speak to anyway. Somethings like that...feeel meh???
anyway, kinda trying to have a fresh start. trying to work out and get healthy withouut exhausting myself to where its just ..a job.
before i would go everyday wtih running 5 miles, then running an extra mile or maybe a little shy of a mile uphill, then exercise at home for an hour..repeat.
now its just, eh...eat healthy, and keep a balance of shweating and hard breathing.
ha i died my hair for a day. tried to bleach it...came out gold but, it was different which what i was shooting for
lately my attitude has been really "uppity" which im liking. Im just becoming more secure with myself again. not as much as i used to be but im getting back into the groove slowly but surely.
i wanna write more songs, last night a co-worker ended up putting my songs on his phone and he was palying them all out loud with the closing crew..ha, its just embarrasing cause its around people i dont really act or feel comfortable around..so i just laughed and whatnot but it was kind of embarrassing, i guess everyone was being nice and said it sounded pretty good so..i dont know, that made my night, even if they were trying to be nice.
i jsut gotta get into the groove again, just simplify things...and not making music writting so complicated, jsut let whatever comes..come. when its natural, regardless of what it sounds like...it sounds bettter when it flows.
anyway, i dont have much to say right now. i got stuff but im not sure how to put it into words
this still gets me though
"griping isnt the same as creating something
rebelling isnt rebuilding
ridiculling isnt replacing
We've taken the world apart, but we have no idea what to do with the pieces
My generation, All of our making fun of things isnt making the world any better
we've spent so much time judging what other people created that we've created very, very little of our own
I used rebellion as a way to hide out
we use criticism as a fake participation
we can spend our lives letting the world tell us who we are
sane or insane. saints or sex addicts. heros or victims.
letting history tell us how good or bad we are.
letting our past decide our future
or we can decide for ourselves... "
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